I have little interest in cricket, but — like snooker — it is enjoyable to watch because of its psychological element: you get to see grown men crushed psychologically without any violation of the Geneva Conventions. Though at the moment Australia are pushing it pretty close to a Human Rights Violation with England. Shane Warne got 71, this from the second-to-last man in the batting lineup. In the process he said to Paul Collingwood, “You got an MBE, right? For scoring seven at the Oval?” And now England are in. Over to Tom Fordyce and the BBC online commentary:

*1433: Eng 0-0* Right England – let’s see what you can do after that onslaught. …

*1439: Eng 4-0* McGrath opens the Aussie bowling for the last ever time in a Test. Writing those words has provided me with a small crumb of comfort. He beats Cook twice outside off, but the Essex tyro then cuts him tastily for four.

*1439: WICKET – Cook ct Gilchrist b Lee 4, Eng 4-1.* Oh no…

Chin up, Tom. It’ll all be over soon.