Maybe that’s where they’re going wrong …

by Daniel on August 2, 2004

I’m usually about the ninetieth person to get these things (thanks to the pal who emailed it to me), but this one is quite funny:

The Central Intelligence Agency is committed to protecting your privacy and will collect no personal information about you unless you choose to provide that information to us.

Bit of a new departure for the CIA, innit?



informant 08.03.04 at 3:54 am

All depends on what the definition of “us” is.
And “provide”.
And “to”.


JD 08.03.04 at 6:35 am



I am a part of a political group here in Los Angeles. This little establishment of ours – as well as another set of peers here in Southern California – are typically devoted to the Republican party during election times (as well as the rest of the times). But we all are faced with a little dilemma this time around.

There are a few things all of us feel we HAVE to have answered in order to endorse President Bush in this election and even to individually vote for this Republican candidate of ours in good conscience. They concern:

1) State of the Union Address – the “executive order” Bush declared in this speech, explaining that he was opening the competition for “billions of dollars in government funding to include charities of faith”

The officers of “Conserve Is The Key” group – two of them of propsective Electors – simply want to understand the particulars with this executive order. None of us can place any belief into the repeated allegations that Bush really has gone that far to funnel funds to those two churches (of his choice). It does not make any political sense and it illustrates an image of George W Bush that we refuse to believe is accurate.

2) Two of the largest contracts involved in the rebuilding of Afghanistan’s commerce and economic stability are supposedly granted to a company in San Francisco. It is claimed that Bush handpicked this company twice and pushed to bestow the contracts to this chosen company without respecting any of the standard competetive bidding and regular approval processes in place for such a venture. (We have learned only one fact related to this allegation: It is said that Congress actually intercepted Mr. Bush’s “second attempt” to dictate the contract be granted to this company he “selected”.

Additionally, it is alleged that the San Francisco based company – now gainfully employed by this supposed Bush arbitrated selection – has unambiguous and direct ties to a number of GW’s family businesses back in Texas.

Again – our inclination is to scoff at these presented “facts”. However, our affiliations have expressed in strong language they feel these events are with enough validity as well as “bothersome” enough in nature to demand that due dilligence be performed before we ask any of our grouped establishment to “blindly follow thus to ineffectually support” the Bush Administration as the elections near.

We have written letters to our local reps, to governor(s), and we have even forwarded a couple of urgent memos to the White House – all in desperation to receive a truthful reply on behalf of the Bush Administration.

Our current official and public stance is that if these inquiries are not satisfied with something official in response that “reveals a different truth” to us by mid-August, we are going to be left with no choice but to reassign our endorsements for all of our affiliates over to Kerry and Edwards. This, on behalf of “Conservative Is The Key” is emphatically not our preferred move.

In our position, we have run thin of choices in the matter as we are already losing credibility having not officially announced our undying support for our fellow Republicans as well as for the primary candidates of our political party.

We have a number of very resourceful individuals who help represent our collective support for Republicans, who as well have received no responses to the letters and memos expressing our position with these issues that have been presented to our group. We are facing a deadline by which we must provide a published response of our own.

You are reading the results of our last, desperate course of action in order to obtain some official denial to these issues, or at least a substantiated “alternate truth” to them. As we are under the gun, the plan of attack is to post this message in every forum, blog, message board, chat room, etc possibly located by our reps. Hopefully, a dedicated fellow Republican who cares as much for the outcome of this election will have the means to guide us in an effective direction which ultimately provides what we need: That is, to obtain the official statement(s) regarding the above mentioned unrelenting inquiries.

Thank you for your speedy action.

Please reach us at

JD, Media Manager
Conserve Is The Key, MRU Member
“Conservative was never a bad word…”


mc 08.03.04 at 9:36 am

“the plan of attack is to post this message in every forum, blog, message board, chat room”

didn’t your momma tell you, spamming is just as bad as bribing for contracts in Iraq?


bad Jim 08.03.04 at 10:32 am

Yeah, yeah, pure boilerplate, so what.

The World Factbook is a damned handy site.

Government intelligence should not be an oxymoron, and isn’t upon present evidence. Visit thither and banish ignorance!

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